rise and shiine it's such a lovely morning

ayy i'm fallow, thanks for stopping by!

i'm a simple storyteller lookin for a place to put my random thoughts. (and art, occasionally!)

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Posts tagged op:autiestella:

fallow reblogged beefox
autiestella -

stella got few followers under 18 & just want say

hey. take care of selves, have fun, & let no one take that fun away!! might feel now that need be "cool" & "not childish," but is silly & false. explore & go wild, hold onto love & awe & curiosity! being teen already scary enough, let alone if trying limit self & fit in silly mould. you deserve better treatment from self!

so! want dye hair? self insert & ship? experiment w labels? fun alt fashion? DO IT ALL, in whatever capacity you able!!
who cares if doesn't stick for long? prob not much WILL for very long time, & that's fine! is just part of live & grow!!


fallow reblogged autiestella

difficulty in expression

reupload cause last one fsr convert png sometime after upload which ... this supose be animate!
if this convert png again then not know what do :(


fallow reblogged autiestella

@beefox
stella picture smth like this!!! hehehe


fallow reblogged autiestella

this done now, atleast...
was not orignly what try draw, idea come after unable do first few
some thing llook awkward & wrong but think happy too


fallow reblogged beefox

fuuuull collage!
some normal optical illusions, some direct from (or inspire by) show, & some also just stella being strange >:)


beefox -

these all real awesome!!!


fallow -

the black and white with gray lines illusion worked on me i was like "wait how'd you get it to tilt in so few pixels--oHHH"


fallow reblogged autiestella

O-K, post take 2!

this is mimi, lil spring fairy :D
she not got wings rn, since stella not confident can find/make OR attach proper, but!!
she likes as all spring fairies do: flowers, dancing, making chaos, birds, the usual :P

she's too small for pose, & only able stand if lean against object!
from top of head to bottom of feet, she 10 cm tall, & hair is 15 cm long!
all patterns made by stella, & everything sew by hand :D


fallow -

=0 she very cute!! long hair flower skirt is good

spring fairy life sound fun hgjfgnfg


fallow reblogged autiestella
autiestella -

so so so, from what stella understand


after wwii came ppl, often working-class men, who took typically "high-class" looks, & spark fights, crimes, etc. these ppl first known as "cosh boys", but later evolve to "teddy boys"

was at time when male fashion interest mostly considered "gay" - sure, men need clothes, but why care how look long as function & is appropriate enough? but as subculture grow, teddy boys begin subvert this

motorcycling also more widespread then, & rockers emerge: heavy focus of motorcycles, leather jackets, but mostly practical over look. often seen just as bad as teddy boys had been, & weirdly kinda back to "fashion is gay" mindset

on flipside, some became even more interest in fashion, using elements of teddy boy, beatnik, & even jamaica's rude boy subculture later on. these ppl known as mods, short for "modernists"! we think their looks vintage now, but need remember, all new & fresh at time :D

mods generally known as moderate-to-high spenders, but at same time, often also got knack for design & modify own clothes! they picked up scooters, often vespa or lambretta, & became associate w both sharp suits, & strange psychedelic imagery

in media, mod-rocker conflict was often highlight to show "the kids untrustworthy!" was often say how mods find rockers "too crass, too untrustworthy, too uncaring", & how rockers find mods "too feminine, too weak, too silly"

in the end, mod had temporary die-out, partly since companies thought could mass-produce unique, hand-modified looks, though had revival in 1980s, & also pave way for new subcultures!

...unfortunately, one of new subcultures skinhead. skinhead evolve as "hard mod" style adopt more elements of jamaican rude boys, & while sortof form as rebellion of conservatism, also was rebel against more progressive subcultures - hence affiliations today.

is kinda weird how went full circle, huh? mod subculture, "classy" response to teddies/rockers, had own subculture which evolve back into smth kinda teddy/rocker-like...


fallow reblogged beefox
autiestella -

allistic ppl never overload on sensory & need seemingly "random" thing stop, do they

like "too hungry, turn off light"
where hunger = pain means light = overwhelm , light can instant switch, so turn off light, clear head & now able get food

or "smell strong, turn off fan"
which some think counterintutive but reality, smell = overwhelm & noise = overwhelm, & already open window so smell able escape, so turn off fan is quick fix for less sensory


autiestella -

is so hard explain allistics cause not able just "ignore" input like might suggest
but also not always rly "pain"

sure allistic would annoy if someone poke repeat & refuse stop, but is same as overload? no
& sure most allistic able tell loud noise hurt ears, but is same as overload? not rly

cause is not always just one thing which make overload
can be combination
can be just small small small but repeat incident
& not even always hurt in same way

guess best analogy right off head maybe like computer memory?
allistic mind able spread resource & give priority of things - might sometime have bad startup or weird glitch, but still mostly this work right
autistic mind try keep each task run to most high ability & save all detail just incase need asap - but means if too much run, ALL start lag, & can make big memory leak!

sidenote - if not understand what stella mean, this video show person cause memory leak; no speech, techno music, captions embedded, glitch visuals (no flash)


fallow reblogged autiestella
autiestella -

stella's bf sends message while not online, "ily darling <3"

2 minute later, sends

"what's w all the twinks working in lowes"


fallow reblogged autiestella
autiestella -

OK, so
stella decide:

each consonant start write from left, & end w long tail on right
over each tail is where diacritic go!

stella not super creative on diacritic, but want be simple :P
they small too, so only able do so much! think fair trade anyway, consonant is where get fun >:)
...plus consonant-less vowel still gonna pretty :P


autiestella -

for idea how stella plan this:
(top row is L consonant, bottom is H consonant, vowels in order A/E/I/O/U)

i diacritic become upright if consonant glyph more tall space than wide space xP
stella did think abt put diacritic INSIDE wide space, but not fan & makes bit more annoy remember


fallow reblogged autiestella
autiestella -

no more words . communicate only abstract picture


autiestella -


fallow -

[id: drawing depicting red "x" next to word bubble with three dots in it. green check mark next to drawing of picture frame with green, yellow, and red squiggles in it. end id.]


fallow reblogged autiestella
autiestella -

stella kindof want say piece of how pride not just "love is love" , is also expression & presentation & freedom in ALL sense, but word machine acting up

still
a-spec exist & trans + nb ppl exist & ppl in ""straight-look"" queer relationship exist & queer ppl who not in relationship (possibly ever!) exist

if ppl can marry but not buy house, if ppl can marry but not avoid medical coerce or tragedy, if ppl can marry but need be "hush-hush" abt own selves, if ppl can marry but not transition & be true self, then queer rights journey not complete


fallow reblogged autiestella
autiestella -

hm
stella usually read OK if all lowercase or normal case, but somehow, stella way more likely mix up ltter if all uppercase
stella also never been able spell word outloud right, even when 100% know know know spelling - sign lang fingerspell also rly hard, hard figure out howneed spell word so ULTRA slow

stella always kinda wonder abt dyslexia or smth relate (???) but, spell fine when write, is not write issue is just read (occasionaly) & say/sign


fallow -

i have trouble spell words out loud too! i think is that i say a letter& as soon as it leaves my mouth i just. poof! forget what i said. can do it if i concentrate enough but isn't as easy as writing

is read comics difficult at all because of uppercase? i know comic lettering usually all uppercase


fallow reblogged autiestella
autiestella -

stella fav villain concepts

  • villain saves hero; never wanted end life, certain not one who need help

  • villain redeems; puts invention/power/knowledge to good

  • villain actually fight corrupt; is corrupt who label "villain," eventually band together w hero & take down

  • villain raised into bad, evil prophecy, etc; grows & sheds it

  • villain w beloved pet/s! villain w beloved kid/s!


fallow reblogged autiestella

The Universe

autiestella -

short piece from worldbuild project - used wordy spoons on proper write! :P
this not tell full story either , but is start grounds

notes before start:
conlang/conculture in question got separate untranslatable pronoun, so stella just settle for she
& conlang also not use capital letter, so is indicate old/divine form of word

OK! start!


Once long ago, there was a tiny speck of Stardust. This speck knew Nothing: it had no tears to cry, no songs to sing, and no eyes with which to see. Not that there was particularly anything to see, anyhow - just a cold, dark void.

But then came another speck, and another, and another - zipping through this void, bouncing together, leaving trails of Light on their paths. They grew, and they grew, and they grew, until at last the Universe gasped Her first Breath. And She was Alive, and She was filled with Joy, and with Sorrow, and with Pain. In each of Her Motions, in each of Her shaking Breaths, so too did Worlds come to Life.

She watched their pink Skies and their blue Grasses fly by Her - and alongside them, She wept, and She danced, and She shouted, enraptured by Her Creations.
With Love, She watched them Grow.
With Grief, She watched them Die.

Would She, too, someday meet Her End?
She didn't like that thought. Would Her Creations cease to Be if She disappeared, too?

Continuing to Turn, She learned Fear. It kept Her from peaceful Rest, watching the newfound decline of all she Loved - pink Skies became murky oranges, Clouds of purple and grey and green rolled through Her Hills.

Still, She wept, until an Idea struck Her:
She was very Alone here, but She didn't have to be.
She took Her Fear, and Her Pain, and of course Her Joy, and poured it into making Something that might Resemble Her, even just a bit.

And as the First was born, She wept tears of Relief, bringing back Light to Her Worlds.


autiestella -

The First

The First was Small, and She was Quiet. Formed from Ice-cold tears and the Fear in the Universe's Heart, She was a timid little thing. With Her, She brought Snow, and Ice, and Death.

There were Two. They did not always agree.
The Universe wished the First would warm up.
The First wished to Grieve all that She wasn't.

There were Two. They felt Alone.

The First hid Herself away, Weeping. She was Sad, She was Pained, She Knew She was not the one the Universe Wanted.

The Sun was Bright.
Something was Missing.
The Flowers Bloomed.
Something was Missing.
The Worlds sang their Joyous Songs and still
Something. Was. Missing.

The Universe, too, Wept again.

The Bright Sun beat down on the Waters until nothing remained.
The Flowers and their Vines and their Thorns devoured anything in sight.
The Songs continued and continued and nothing stopped and in the Eternal Life nothing could truly Live for it was Fighting all else and there was no Joy and -

The Universe knew what She had done.
The Universe knew what She Must do.

With a Smile, She sighed. She relaxed Herself.
She breathed Life, and Joy, and Uncertainty, into another Being.

And then, there were Three.


autiestella -

The Second

The Second was full of Laughter and Sparks. Flowers tied into Their hair and Their Heart on Their sleeve, Their Smile brought Song, and Dance, and Bloom.

Birdsong following Them, They approached the First in Her hideaway.
Why are You filled with Sorrow? They asked.
They knew as well as She.
Why aren't You, dear Second? She asked in kind.
She knew as well.

The Second warmly touched Her face.
They Smiled. She Watched.
Clasping Her Hands in Their own, They Laughed.
Show Me what You Make.

Unfurling both Their Hands, She revealed a puff of Snow with a Frown.
It's Cold. It's Painful. It's Nothing but Death.
The Second shook Their Head, but They were not Angry. Gently, They guided Her Hands, shaping the Snow and the Ice and showing Her its Beauty.
Together They made Sculptures, and they Played, and She Bloomed in Her own way.

The Worlds Woke, Slept, and Woke once more - Day and Night, Spring and Winter, Second and First.
Still, things seemed Off.
The Second grew Nervous.
Warmth grew less Warm, Cold more Freezing.
The First grew Nervous, too.

The Universe agreed.
Using what She had Learned, She began breathing into a Third Her Passion, Her Curiosity, and Her Intensity.

And soon, there were Four.


autiestella -

The Third

The Third, from His first Breath, knew exactly what He was and wanted to Be. He was meant to Laugh, and to Shout, and most importantly, to Be without Shame.
He was Loud, which the First found intimidating. He could not win Her over - His Heat brought Her Pain, and Her Cold drove Him away.

He was Fond of the Second, however. They Played together, They Laughed, They Danced. He showed Them treasures They could not have ever Found, or Grown, or Made.

The First grew Lonely again, as She had been long ago. She had no such Companion, and She Feared the Second was bored with Her.

But She could not be so Pained.
It was only Fair.
It was only Fair.
It was only...

It was not Fair.

The Ice spiked Her Heart, sending ripples of Cold and Death as She Wept.
If She were to be Alone,
If She were to be full of Sorrow,
Perhaps All should be.

The Universe was Distraught. Nothing had Changed. It was Now as it had been Before.

I cannot Console Her. said the Third.
She turns even Me away. said the Second.
I mean no Harm, but for What does that count? said the Third.
Please, She needs Someone too. said the Second.

The Universe did not Know if this would Help, but the War of Life and Death was taking its toll.
To the Fourth, She granted Her Wisdom, Her Sorrow, and Her Hope.

Finally, there were Five.


autiestella -

The Fourth


The Fourth Understood all that there Was. They felt all the Worlds' Sorrows, their Pains, their Griefs - yet too, all their Hopes, their Dreams, and their Love.
They, most importantly, Understood the First. They Sat at Her side, Saying nothing, simply basking in the Silence with Her.

It continued this way for a long, long time.
The Universe worried She truly had Failed.

Then, one day, the First gave in.
Why do You Sit with Me? She asked.
Why do You waste Your Time?
I am not Special. I am Cold. I am Death.
I am Hate.

The Fourth shook Their Head, holding back Tears.
They said nothing as They pulled Her close to Embrace.
They said nothing even as She asked What, and Why, and How.
They said nothing even as She shook with Tears, and even as They too began to Cry.

They were Warmth, They were Cold, They were Joy, They were Sorrow, They were All and They were Between.
The First did not Understand.
Perhaps She had no Need to.

They listened to Her Stories, and They watched as She Created, and though They never spoke She felt more Loved than ever before.

At last, the Universe felt nothing was Missing.
Dawn, Day, Dusk, Night.
Bloom, Thrive, Decay, Sleep.
Song, Dance, Quiet, Death.

The Four Learned Harmony.

The Universe Sighed of Relief, Knowing now Her Guardians were going to Remain, Knowing now that She could finally Relax.


fallow reblogged beefox

enemys of disability

autiestella -
  1. "that's not normal thing?" / "not everyone got that?"

  2. being told "just lazy"

  3. comorbidity to point got 50 disability wrap up in 1

  4. "what is trigger now??"


beefox -

5. "you too young!"


cjadewyton -

6. "But when will you get better/stop using [aid]?"


fallow -

7. "but you used to be able to do [x] so why can't you do it now!"

8. "you're so smart; i know you can do better..."

9. "you don't look disabled"/ "you can't be, you're too good at talking to people"

10. "just doing [thing] for attention/to manipulate people"

11. unnecessary comments on the way you talk/move or noises you make


fallow reblogged autiestella

The Universe

autiestella -

short piece from worldbuild project - used wordy spoons on proper write! :P
this not tell full story either , but is start grounds

notes before start:
conlang/conculture in question got separate untranslatable pronoun, so stella just settle for she
& conlang also not use capital letter, so is indicate old/divine form of word

OK! start!


Once long ago, there was a tiny speck of Stardust. This speck knew Nothing: it had no tears to cry, no songs to sing, and no eyes with which to see. Not that there was particularly anything to see, anyhow - just a cold, dark void.

But then came another speck, and another, and another - zipping through this void, bouncing together, leaving trails of Light on their paths. They grew, and they grew, and they grew, until at last the Universe gasped Her first Breath. And She was Alive, and She was filled with Joy, and with Sorrow, and with Pain. In each of Her Motions, in each of Her shaking Breaths, so too did Worlds come to Life.

She watched their pink Skies and their blue Grasses fly by Her - and alongside them, She wept, and She danced, and She shouted, enraptured by Her Creations.
With Love, She watched them Grow.
With Grief, She watched them Die.

Would She, too, someday meet Her End?
She didn't like that thought. Would Her Creations cease to Be if She disappeared, too?

Continuing to Turn, She learned Fear. It kept Her from peaceful Rest, watching the newfound decline of all she Loved - pink Skies became murky oranges, Clouds of purple and grey and green rolled through Her Hills.

Still, She wept, until an Idea struck Her:
She was very Alone here, but She didn't have to be.
She took Her Fear, and Her Pain, and of course Her Joy, and poured it into making Something that might Resemble Her, even just a bit.

And as the First was born, She wept tears of Relief, bringing back Light to Her Worlds.


fallow -

oh this is so pretty...


fallow reblogged autiestella
autiestella -

stella had funky dream, not even able detail eveything cause soooooooooooo darn much

but this stick out: stella said "hmmm BORED" in middle conversation w dream chara, & just ... WILLED unicorn + deer centaur girls into exist

...then stella woke, cause her dreams REFUSE be control!!!! happens most time try


autiestella -

still want more mad mod ones >:)

lastnight stella actually start imagine if WAS in mad mansion ... but fellsleep before able figure out much!

funnyest mad mod dream so far was, he took over world & made sky orange + grass blue? so stella sat on bench outside house & sang abt tuna sandwich, & mad mod greeted her (just float head in sky)

was nother one, stella explore biiiig techy lab? reached end & biiig white staircase, staircase had "shelf" under, which actually screen. was broke & want try fix, so stella put string inside & somehow work. whole time, someone behind stella! never saw who but just feel was mad mod. also stella was talk but mouth not move, was infodump abt smth but dunno what


fallow -

this is neat! i very much feel the dreamvibes of "thing is thing but Not" and "knowing something you cant see"

in my dreams i dont realize it's a dream except sometimes i do and then i can't control things is more either i try to escape dream or i wake up within dream tell people within dream of weird dream i had last night.....X'3 is very silly


fallow reblogged autiestella

stella ... should hav sleep instead of this, but was too tempt - not done any of together before
this style hard. took way more long than thought. ow

but! meet autumn (get it? autie) , echolalic multiply-disable autistic, & reformed mad mod, who now fulfil dream of fashion design
mad mod also autistic - finds kinship in autumn & accidently adopts :P


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