rise and shiine it's such a lovely morning

ayy i'm fallow, thanks for stopping by!

i'm a simple storyteller lookin for a place to put my random thoughts. (and art, occasionally!)

nice ta see ya traveller, hope you enjoy your stay!

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(i am friendly u may send in asks for the above or any other reason)

Other blogs-

Podcast-[by suns and stars]

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my art!!
archive of things i've repoured \[sorted by category!!\]

Posts tagged anecdote:

fallow reblogged beefox
beefox -

bee want talk bout communication.

lots people go "oh bee no talk must be hard cause hard communicate" but is like.

issue not bee nonverbal, before when verbal was still big issues.

brain just. can't.

no way work out word things right that allistics understand easy.

autistics better understanding bee but just is. not talk not issue, issue brain and words.

bee say prefer sign cause easier communicate, and is true! sign more information dense, more flexible, make more sense bee. but still struggle lots. get overwhelm. is just hard.

bee put on brave face lots, cause hate people say that should just learn talk cause communicate easier.

but no matter what, people always always misunderstand bee. very few people understand. real only other who think bee.

and just frustrate. make want hide, never communicate, hate hate hate. just wish people understand.


(understand many people have bad bad experience with aba

but just wanted quietly pop in and say is not always bad--obvs can be bad since so many people have bad experience but! times change and things improve and just wanted say that not all aba automatically bad; i [old enough to understand agreed to it] have aba and sat down and talk about what i wanted to improve, was not try fit in nt mold but rather try be able function around house pbbpjjfdkghtt learn to cook and clean and things like that since is hard for me to finish tasks, and i remember at beginning when agree to it person told me we could stop at any time, and anyway yeah just has been helpful for me get better at chores and para is nice and obvs manymany people not have this experience and end up rly bad situation but jsut wanted point out since seems mostly unanimous 'aba is bad' on internet that good aba is possible.

not sure if just different provider or different parents/age but hope other places get better too hope doesnt have to be badbad ableism thing anymore, obvs not everyone need/want aba but just, hope practice as a whole keep get better, just want say own experience since is different. hope have nice day!)


fallow reblogged autiestella
autiestella -

even MORE random question/thought

do anyone else wake up w music in head?
not dream music, actual song which exist & listen to
lately for stella is obv lot of 60s stuff, esp incense & peppermints
happen even if dreams got nothin to do w music ... v curious if others get


fallow -

this morning wake up with some music in head dont remember what but was v repeat & smth id heard before, tried remember dream but couldnt cuz music??


fallow reblogged supermario
supermario -

Haha, tridents are fun to use. Wish I had one.


fallow -

i got one somehow, my friend needed my help bc they kept getting killed by a drowned with a trident. i got the drowned w my crossbow then later was fishing in the same spot and another trident-drowned showed up, fought that one too for the heck of it and it dropped a trident and i was just like =0

=0 what do i even do with a trident i was nto trained for this


fallow reblogged supermario
supermario -

Minecraft resource pack but the only difference is that Ravagers look like their concept art.


fallow -

ppls drawings of ravagers already make 'em look pretty creepy i can only imagine what the concept art was like- dfjkslfj


supermario -

@fallow Concept art under the cut

Like, the Ravager we got looks somewhat cuddly, but this beast is just terrifying (and brings up a lot of questions...).


fallow -

comin' back bc the other day i got murdered by a ravager three times in a row and also in that concept art i Really dont like the location of the head x'D

(i'd stayed alive since the servers creation but then i died and i was like rip me i guess,, im still one of the players w the lowest death count tho, even after falling into a very deep 2x1 hole in the nether and landing in lava and also getting killed by vex three times; most of the other players dont have any reservations abt dying if they arent carrying much and one even stared me in the eyes while pillaring with cactus and dying right in front of me)


fallow reblogged supermario

Me and the captain of the pillager patrol having a staring competition


fallow -

mood im always just like ??? cuz they already got their crossbows charged and theyre just. staredown

also one time i threw snowballs at a patrol from on top of a mountain a few chunks away and they immediately homed in on my location and climbed up to assassinate me i was like wtf


fallow reblogged fallow
fallow -

i dont even kno if anyone here speaks spanish or if im just throwing stuff into the void


fallow -

regardless i will continue to do so because i did not spend ten years on nothing


fallow -

@lovecubus said: i... want to communicate w/ others in spanish but am concerned that my 4 years of hs spanish would be offensive or "too formal" ._.;; least seeing your posts helps me practice!

aww am glad of that!! aprendería español en escuela tambien pero empezé más temprano que high school. quiero aprender como hablar casualmente tambien porque no pienso que pueda aprender de un libro de texto sin hablar como un libro de texto fjdksfljdgh

recuerdo une de mis maestres (de ciencias, no de español) nos dijo que su espose mexicane no permite sus hijes a tomar los clases de español porque no quiera que elles aprender "white people spanish". a veces me preocupo de que hable "white people spanish" pero no hay mucho que puedo hacer sobre eso, ¿no?

una vez haya ofrecido para traducir y ayudar familias hispanohablantes ir de compras porque hay muchas personas que no les entienden. era interesante porque me parece que las familias suponían que pueda hablarlo o no pueda hablarlo y no consideraban el espacio entre de los dos. fue un poco incómodo pero pienso que vale la pena y me encanta conectar con otras personas


fallow reblogged babushka
babushka -

How do you hhhhhhh self compassion


darkhorsedouglas -

It's hard to do. My anxiety used to make me focus on my mistakes and nothing else. Like, getting nervous about something I did wrong 3 years ago.

The easiest trick I've found is to tell yourself "good job" for the small things. Did I get my dirty clothes washed today? Yes. Then I say out loud or in my mind. "Good job me." Did I stay calm while talking to a rude customer? Yes. "Good job me!"

Telling yourself good job helps with self-confidence. And helps you notice the good things you are doing. It's easy to look at the mistakes you make and think you're a bad person. But if you increase the number of times you encourage yourself it makes it easier to see the good things you are doing.

The final step is to change what you are thinking about. If you notice you are thinking to yourself that "you suck" or "you're so bad at this". Catch yourself and think of one of your "good job!" moments.

Ex. "Darn I didn't get the dishes done. I suck at being an adult." *pause* "But I did do the laundry today and cleaned up some trash in the living room. I guess I'm not that bad at being an adult."


babushka -

sounds like it'll help! thanks!!


just started playing fer.al yesterday & its pretty neat

i spent so long trying to find ten chickens i was running around hearing them but not seeing them eventually i just tried standing where i saw the other players stop and then the chickens would walk into me but yeah they were hard to spot on my own lol


fallow reblogged beefox

beefox -

head test

bee practice head! almost forgot ears hehe! made process into gif!

picrew big help on making hair, help bee think hair as 2 layer instead 1 blob, help lots lots cause that always why bee struggle hair.

am really proud shape head!


fallow -

oh really neat to watch the gif =0

yeye picrew helping make sense! remind me of at some point i played sims and just messed around in the sim creator for a while making characters and found it helped me draw humans better later on (used to draw but not humans, was hard starting out) =D


fallow reblogged autiestella
autiestella -

how stella deal w fact that fan make overload, but is so warm that need fan
music/other sound over top only makes worse
what need is function of fan but SILENT which not thing stella can do


fallow -

do have noise canceling headphones?


autiestella -

nope
not understand how work & afraid would not good for stella


fallow -

oh,

well if helps any i have two diff kinds of headphones, one is big bulky full of foam, dont entirely block noise but good for muffle it, designed for really loud noises so is effective

then i also have other headphone dad got me more recently, is electronic, is smaller/less heavy and has settings so u can press buttons on it and it has noise-canceling mode where--what dad say how it works is it sense the noise around you and then make the opposite noise so they cancel out into no noise. Again (like the other) doesn't get everything but for me is better than no headphone if i'm having trouble with sound.

therapist say shouldn't wear headphone all time bc then get used to less-noise so previously normal noise-level seem loud in comparison, but otherwise me i havent had any problem with headphone! but if is diff for stella/other issue dunno what suggest besides fan self with paper if able?/make sure drink water?


fallow reblogged waterfall
waterfall -

wheres the fun exciting jrpg where it just starts off each day with you taking all your various medications, vitamins, etc etc


fallow -

honestly for long time i been think of make game representing my daily life

could be powerful tool illustrate ones own experiences portray them to others...maybe someday if i do that could try make it so easy for anyone make game abt their life, could be neat tool communication

if was doing for me would have energy bar for meltdown + energy bar for anxiety but would affect each other--maybe be like one of those things where is 2 sides of one bar split at middle and if one bar gets all the way low it starts taking from the other bar

also would have hunger/thirst etc bars hidden unless u go to special place to look at them (i have big adhd i forget to eat and drink)

prob also some currency would have to spend on actions, would have hidden number generated at start of each day = how easy tasks will be for brain today, if not easy have to spend more to do things (adhd med would make slightly more likely easier number but still is random chance still could get low)

also time-counter at corner of screen would not say time would be more like morning/midday/afternoon/evening/night etc, and would be random timeskips of a few hours whenever go near mirror or just sometimes randomly

often would get stuck w no more task currency and not be able to do things. would be frustrating for player but, well, is frustrating for me!! no more currency, just end up do low-effort thing like look at waterfall or message friend.

also would be things like meltdown or panic!mode where not fully in control of character, if meltdown too bad just have to watch them flail around onscreen, only sometime be able control movement...depending on how meltdown+anxiety bar is doing dialogue be different, at low levels character start hunching over talk simple and make noises that wouldnt otherwise (is strange bc people who dont kno im autistic can still get read that Somethings Wrong when im low-energy like that, people im not around all the time seem put on edge/discomfort at seeing my discomfort and the big difference in how i move and bodylanguage)

would be something like brain-bar too where when walking around when brainbar is low would cause random minigames to pop up themed abt objects i walk past, best way i can think of to describe the ping-pong around the house of adhd, just keep distracting. need have high brain-bar but brain-bar go down so fast, i guess would represent just stimulation/engagement in general

sometime character would not obey controls, like if is friends fighting in chat online would not be able do anything except check chat or pace room

and when meltdown/anxiety bar low then certain things would make bars go down even faster, like if step on lines or do thing Wrong or wear the wrong shirt

+would be debuff from being around lots people but also other debuff from being alone

+would get energy from be outside or around happy plants

+sometimes if brain bar low also get play through daydream sequence >=3c or storyplanning, player get play as story character and act out scene before can proceed...

if was game of your life, what would mechanic be like? =0


[id: photo of a watercolor palette with many different color pigments in tiny squares inside a small plastic box. there are also places in the box for sponges and two brushes that store water inside them so it comes out when you draw. the colors are organized into something kinda resembling rainbow order but also not really? but it's close enough. end id.]

dropped my watercolors on the floor again yesterday so took the opportunity to reorganize!

(each little box comes out so when i inevitably drop it is really chaotic fdjskljfhg one time i drop it while going out the door trying not to be late then have to put the little colors back in the box was like "aaah" dflskfhj this time tho was not in hurry)


naiad asked:

I'm glad to hear your cat is doing much better! Mine is already on a wet food diet anyhow so that part won't be much of a change lol. Was the healing process easy on yours? I had to get my wisdom teeth removed and I remember it being horrible 😫

hahaha i wrote a really long response then accidentally did something that deleted it uh

here's my best rendition


our friend the cat name lois!!! shes very good. shes doing better now but when she first came home after tooth extraction she was really loopy from drugs. her pupils very dilated and she was pacing the room and drooling and purring constantly. was weird but looking back on i find it funny.

for a while she make motions with her mouth like trying to feel the teeth that aren't there (she had to get some canines out, not fun but she had iffy teeth whole life so couldnt really fix teeth had to take out)

ok im highkey miffed that i dragged an image onto the page and then it loaded the image in browser instead of inserting it, im aware dragging images onto pages makes the page become the image thats just how internet is but /inconvenience/

she was doing not so great a bit ago bc stress (we got kittens she doesnt like that) as well as a few injuries (shes old) but took her to vet she got massage/chiropracty apparently/other things and feel better now. shes very good friend very affectionate. kinda grumpy but very good.

here is pictures:
[id: the following photos are of lois, a black and white cat with yellow eyes and pretty fur pattern (mostly black but white splotches and shapes on underbelly and legs as well as one spot between her mouth and nose. she is in a room with painted periwinkle walls and in many of the pictures she is on a human bed.]


[lois is loafing on the bed.]

[lois' face as she stands over the camera looking mildly disgruntled.]
mama sends pictures like the above one saying "current view" or "lois is hangry" its very silly...she and lois snug a lot is sweet

[lois splayed out on a pillow on a bed. she looks completely asleep.]

[lois side-eyes the camera.]
[lois is curled up taking a nap in a human's lap.]

[lois is sleeping with her face pressed against the head of a human wearing a sleep mask. human has been cropped out of photo but you can see lois press her cheek against sleep mask...]

[lois is loafing on lap!]

[series of three images. lois is on the bed looking sleepy and with each image her head droops down a bit more until in the last one she rests the side of her head on the blanket under her.]

[another silly one of lois with her face against mom's sleep mask.]

just felt the need to gush about the lois--shes grumpy sometime bc kittens but she has a room to herself and she likes to go outside to sit in the sun (kittens aren't allowed out there) and she hangs out with mom all the time

mom tried to make a baby-sling to hold her in bc she likes to be held but she doesnt like sling hgjfgkg

she's more independent now that shes feeling better though

oh and we feed lois wet food too, just also sometimes kibble so we had to soak the kibble in water so she didn't hurt her mouth

she likes wet food better anyway

(also she was stealing the kittens kibble the entire time so im not sure how much of her own she was even eating fdslkjhg)

but yeah-

cat!!! cats in general just. so good very love.


ok srs tho why do i hear fireworks at night

friends said they hear same burstnoise see flash of white light

havent seen light but then again i tend to avoid window when burst sound at night

dunno what would be


fallow reblogged inara

So, fallow almost killed me one time

inara -

So idk if any of you know, but fallow is my older sibling. When we were little, we slept in a bunk bed. Fallow had top bunk, I had bottom. At night we talked through one of those plastic tubes that you can buy at toy stores that make a woooeeowweeow noise when you flail them around. One night I said I was hungry, and asked fallow if they had any food. This smartass replies with "well, I mean everything is be edible if you try hard enough." And my six year old dum dum brain decided that they must have stale bread crust or smth.

It was NOT bread crust

This bitch tells me to put my mouth up to the tube, which I do, then slides a FUCKING marble down.

Good I had my mouth closed.

It only chipped my tooth.

So ya, that's a story.

:)


fallow reblogged fallow
babushka -

Americans use the Soviet Anthem in memes much more often than their own anthem. The only thing I know about American anthem from athens is that it's allegedly starts with "oh, say, can you see?" To all the blind Americans - hang in there.


fallow -

inara said "my [something]" and i corrected "our [something]" and i was expecting her to call me communist then she suddenly starts singing some song that i dont know and im like "is that the-" and shes like "yes yes it is"


fallow -

if we're getting serious for a moment the usa's national anthem is about war =(

when i read about norway's national anthem being about how cool nature is where they live i was like "dang...who knew one could be jealous of an anthem" its just. it feels like anthems say something big about the countries' values and i'm not a fan of glory in war being one of those values, nature is much better

i never memorized the usa's anthem bc i went to a private school where we didn't have to do that type of thing, never had a daily pledge of alleigance until high school (man was that disorienting when everyone in unison stood up and faced the same direction and talked in sync with the voice on the intercom [kinda droning too, just reciting the words without thinking or meaning] it was a real wtf moment for me, i didnt know public schools did it every day or with that level of normalcy)

the first few times i stood too because i was caught off guard/didn't want to get in trouble but all the times since then i've sat or knelt. one time i was even standing to get a paper from across the room and the pledge came on and i just plopped down in the middle of the floor where i was. at camp they did the pledge too and they had a small team of campers (it was a rotating job) carry out the flag each day and go through a sort of ritual to raise it. my counselor who knows my view on this sort of thing allowed me to just read the attendance part of the script and then pass it off to inara for the flag stuff. every pledge they did at camp I ended up kneeling since the counselors didn't like it when I just remained sitting and the gravel hurt on my knee but I wasn't gonna stand because that's not what I believe in and I don't think we should be bragging about our country having "freedom and justice for all" until it's actually true.

i read somewhere that kneeling is better than sitting because it represents showing respect for war veterans. so maybe next time i'll fully switch to kneeling instead of sitting.

as a fun comparison, here's what I can remember of the anthem:

"Oh say can you see
by the dawn's early light
what so proudly we hail
at the twilight's last gleaming
whose red stripes and bright stars
through the perilous something
something something something
something something something something

and the rockets' red glare
the bombs bursting in air
gave proof through the night
that our flag was still there

oh say does that star-spangled
banner we hail
something something something something
and the home of the brave"

versus here's the actual copied+pasted lyrics from the internet:

"O say can you see, by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there;
O say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?"

[from wikipedia]

then it goes on for another three stanzas talking about war...i didn't know it was that long honestly, but i read it and i'm slightly taken aback. i mean it's not out of character, and i do think it's good poetry from a literary standpoint, but..."their blood has washed out their foul footsteps' pollution"? really? as a national anthem??? now thats just threatening!! (not to mention the two lines following that which are even more threatening and apparently a civil rights organization recently called for the anthem to be replaced which I didn't know about either so thats interesting)

if any of yall have questions about what it's like here for me (unless the internet is too swamped in that already ehe) feel free to ask, i am absolutely filled with stories and more than happy to share!! also if you wanna share something about your experiences where you live i'd be downright happy to listen!


fallow reblogged naiad
naiad -

i feel so uninspired lately


fallow -

like how?


naiad -

mostly just related to moving/finances/the lockdown. a lot of my photography comes from just going out and doing things and when we moved lockdown happened the next week and things are still closed (understandably) and i really haven't been able to do anything photography related since we moved. in our old apartment we lived next to a huge pond so I could still always go out and get nature pics even when we were broke or whatever.

plus my job hasn't opened up yet so i've just kinda been stuck at home and i'm becoming stir-crazy. last time i was unemployeed i could at least count on going out sometimes to mix life up, but aside from grocery stores i haven't been able to go anywhere in months and it's starting to get really draining


fallow -

ah...yeah that sound rough.

if want ideas, you have any nearby hiking trail or similar thing could go out and take pictures on, without be around lots people? or maybe could try take picture of little knicknacks or tiny things around house, try to bring out the strange qualities in ordinary thing, or just be upside down take upside down pictures--or just be upside down not take pictures at all, just. be (know not everyone can be upside down but for me is good to be upside down sometime, is reminder of the world, plus brings blood to head so when feel dizzy or distant can come back easy)

[long thoughts below]

me thinking about this remind me of in english class--specific english class--were going through romeo&juliet and classmates decided make little...diarama? not in box but similar concept--using tennis balls and toilet paper. just kept doing that every day with the scene we read they would update it, encorporate other objects to serve as other characters or scenery...toilet paper bridal veil hehe... just is what come to mind, this little memory. do not know what is your relationship with the silliness but is very important in my life, reminder to not take self/world so seriously, small is big and big is small. silly thing for me help calm down and step back from situation or look at thing from other angle or get self out of sad funk. Satisfaction not 100% gurantee but me i believe in the silly.

naiad tag: #i also have like something wrong with my head where i can't visualize things #and i don't really have any kind of imagination #so i haven't felt very creative lately either with not being able to go out #photography is perfect for me because i don't have to create #i can just capture

this no wrong with head, just is brain, see? to me people are colors and noise is harm but nothing wrong with head just is how brain work. not being able to picture things has name, is call aphantasia. Is brain.

Funny to me say no have imagination? people have said this or similar things and i do not understand. i mean to my knowing is skill like anything else, come more naturally to some, but not finite resource yes? me I imagine better when do little warmup like just look at nearby object let brain flow flipflipflip through connections--dont even make sense, very silly!--and see what comes out, just strange thing like this help me easier time make jokes or process information. What I say is anecdotal not trying say it all apply to you but basic i think is that brain can change and learn [science behind this yes neuroplasticity] and is ways you can imagine more smoothly by practice like other skill like play instrument or solve riddle or do cartwheel. Basically just: you do not have to stretch brain, but if you want to you can, can stretch brain learn more creative things.yes?

me when i draw i don't see it all out in front of me first, just again am going off on anecdote but hope it might help you--me i can visualize things, not perfect;not natural thinking-mode allthetime but i can do this

but when i draw i do not visualize first more i just start with shape, go from there

just. drawing and modifying as i go, because no have end product in mind, just want make something. usually have specific character or pose want to draw but even that change sometimes! don't have everything in head, don't have much in head at all; i think more in locations/spatial relationships than anythingelse and have been draw for long time so mostly just 'calculate' as i go, let hand do its thing

capture. capture is interesting thought...my dad like photography, he want to do that when he retire. he does it sometimes now he take pretty picture of sky or set up funny things in room to get picture of splashes and droplets.

capture is a good word. photos are very neat. just little pieces of time in light


naiad asked:

just in case you didn't know, grapes are deadly to cats and dogs!

ah i had a feeling; was just too distract in moment to Remove The Grape

thank for your concern!

she's fine don't worry, she didn't eat it she was just carrying it around/batting at it for a while

shes a strange little creature, she once sneak ate my beans (type cats not suppose eat) and then just. started cleaning herself as if that was a perfectly normal meal to have and i was like "spindlllllle"

also one time she decided attack an artichoke

strange silly kitten


transzoemurphy -

yo ive missed being on social media sm like..,.,.,Lit Erally i am so #lonely since corona started n i cant get on tumblr or reddit or twt or anythin n im so tired ajsskj :(


transzoemurphy -

see also: my antivax parents are driving me MAD


fallow -

if help at all i can inform you there is a biology teacher out there whose fave hobby is trolling antivax fb groups and seeing how long it takes for them to ban her

got banned from one thing by pointing out the 'yucky-chemical' shampoo ingredients list someone had posted was actually just list of all the compounds in a banana


fallow reblogged beefox
unicorns -

Have been wondering for a while, how emotion work for others? Know how my emotion work, but not proper match with books. Became curious if have been misunderstanding books or if my emotion different?


unicorns -

@beefox commented:
what mean how work?

Have wondered how emotion feel for other people, what emotion feel like, where in body emotion felt. Like in book, people say "show not tell" but I not feel emotion like "tell", not just know "oh I feel sad/angry/happy" but body reacts to emotion, but "show" often not match either, so emotion feel different for different people, but in which ways? Do other people feel emotion in brain or in body or in both? Is hard to explain...


beefox -

ooooh bee think understand is like. bee body show emotion but bee brain no understand by self so bee need look at what body do to work out emotion

alsoalso bee body emotion different look then nt body emotion


autiestella -

stella tend feel emotion so strong, sometime emotion themself basically make overload - & always had emotions which easy set off, so stella been thought of like "ticking time bomb" just cause NTs not understand

plus some ppl think stella reactions weird, cause got hard time frown right so make sad seem more like anger to someone outside

stella always confuse by ppl who say where emotions "feel," too - stella immediately feel in head & all of thoughts & not notice any else unless outward physical (shake, cry, etc)

emotions is weird, basically. not broke or wrong, just NTs tend only account for selves!


beefox -

yeye! bee get overwhelm by emotion lots too! bee just bad identify emotion


fallow -

me i feel emotion in chest most times. like love, sad, jealous, etc. all in chest, as if chest is 'radiating' emotion energy. emotion get very strong for me too which can get painful in a way? not literal physical pain, but...emotion pain i guess. Used to be more of a problem when younger bc didn't know about flapping (it just never occur to me; some year ago read thing person write about flapping and was like "wait i could do that too!" )

is like emotion-energy need to get out, and before I read about stim I had no way to get it out. made even "good" emotions feel bad when too much of it because emotion too strong to handle.

have hard time express gratitude most. always think "am i doing it right?" after accepting gift. even if really like gift is hard to express somehow. easier now cuz am comfortable flapping and make noises!! really is only good way i've found of getting out emotion. Well besides play instrument or draw but those are not really use in conversation.

(sometimes also have physical things like headache, tired, temperature, heart fast, tummy feel weird, etc in response to emotion, not sure if is type of 'locational' thing you mean though)

also @ unicorns what books?


fallow reblogged zylphide
zylphide -

nobody asked but im gonna ramble on about my research project

so my lab works on endophytes, which are microbes that live inside plants and help em grow. my particular project is on some strains of Pseudomonas bacteria that i isolated from agave seeds

they glow in under UV light and they're so good!!!

they're highly antifungal (hypothesis: they're fungal pathogens) and they're super helpful to all the plants i've tested them on so far (carrots/coriander/rice/catnip)

right now a friend from another lab and i are collaborating on a project between her catnip and my Pseudomonas to see if my Pseudomonas can induce the catnip to produce more of the essential oil that attracts cats

i'm hoping to get enough data from my other aspects of my own project to have a scientific article completed by this fall/winter


zylphide -

@fallow

so my experience working in the lab is only restricted to my specific lab, but in general, biology research labs in the us all tend to work very similarly (huge wall of text under the read more fkjsda)


usually in undergraduate classes, you're stuck in a huge lab with like 20 other kids, but when you're doing your own research (either as an undergrad intern type of person or as a graduate student), you tend to be in a very small lab with very few other people. my lab only has 4 graduate students, including myself. the biggest lab in my department has like 12 graduate students (and their lab area is much bigger as a result). there's visitors and undergrads who come in as well, but they tend to be "temporary" and dip out after 6 months or a year. generally you only really interact with your labmates, and sometimes the people who come over to your lab to borrow stuff or ask questions.

i chose plant pathology as my track precisely because i literally cannot handle hurting animals. i know mice as model animals is important for biomedical research, but that's a big no from me on that.

and honestly? most of my fellow grad friends are kinda bad at keeping their lab notebooks up to date. the lab notebook in a Real research setting isn't exactly the same as the notebooks you might have to fill out in class. the lab notebook is a legal document (at least here in the us), so you can't take it home or anything. most of the time we record data on a separate piece of paper (i have several random notebooks laying around for this purpose) and later on transfer it into the actual lab notebook.

in undergrad, there's a lot of following instructions, but at a graduate level, you kind of have to come up with your own instructions since you're solving problems no one else has ever solved before. it can get kind of annoying having to come up with novel solutions each time though, since there can be a lot of trial and error (and wasted time) involved dkjfakdsfj

i'd say a lot of people in academia are doing research to help better the world in some way. unfortunately, academia tends to retain egotistical people who value their reputation and publishable results rather than ones who are genuinely interested in passing on their knowledge. by the time grad students get their phds (and a lot of us drop out before then), they're burnt out by how academics (including people in their own department, or even their own advisors) treat them. i'm lucky my advisor is very laid back and doesn't treat us badly, but there are professors out there who are very mean to their students and basically treat them like slave labor.

from what i've read, nepetalactones activate some smell receptors in a cat's nose, so they're more like pheromones. i'm pretty sure they're not hallucinogenic, but then again, it's not like we can ask the cat.

our test run was on multiple plantlets. we don't test on just one plant because you need multiple points of data to make sure you didn't happen get an outlier. i think we did 7 plantlets per plate, with 3 plates per bacteria, totalling to 21 plants. that way we can get a good average and people can't dismiss us by saying "oh you only got those results because you have a small sample size"

if you really are interested in seeing if lab work is for you, i would recommend talking to professors who are doing research you're interested in and seeing if they would be willing to let you help them for a semester. my school let people do that for credits (or for money, if they were in a work-study program) and it's a good way to gauge if lab work is something you're passionate about. i know people who did bench work (actually doing the experiments instead of just reading/writing about them) for a year and decided they hated it, but it's only something they found out after they had that experience.

uh sorry this got very very long, i've been in a research lab for a while now and i have a lot of thoughts skjfksjf


fallow -

huh, thats neat!

yeah our teacher made sure we knew lab book was legal document. (i am in usa too) We did take them home so I guess that's one thing different but she had us follow rules she say she had to follow in industry job (black pen, X out empty space, put initials and date everywhere, etc)

also when she grade them...she take them all at once, and by surprise. you could tell on the day when she was going to do it--you could tell bc she get evil expression (more evil than usual i mean haha--she good teacher but very mischief) and sometime she stand at front of room grin and make grabby-hands as entire class realize what's happening

sometime people try to scribble last-minute in the book but she say nope nuh-uh gimmegimmegimme (grinning and chuckling and doing grabby hands while student reluctantly hands over book, she chooses which lab to grade by random so basically all of us were constantly concern about our grades dksfjgkh cuz sometimes it Would be That One Lab that we didnt finish...she say she do this bc in biotech industry you never know when lawyer show up, take your book for court case, could be any time; book need be ready else you get in trouble...i'd imagine works different where you are? sound like you work in college, i think she worked in company)

She tell funny stories like about how lab book need get witnessed by someone w/ PhD (and at her lab not many people had PhD, she joke about having to corner them to make them witness book x'3 ) and at some point her place have only one such person and she have entire book need be witnessed so she go up to their desk, dump her book there and run fdslkjhgfghj

huh, doing your own thing sounds...nice? both nice and hard i guess...

thats unfortunate, that people care reputation over doing good/helping world. &that people be mean. I remember when I was lot younger I was like "when i grow up i want PhD!" but then when I got in high school I learn PhD take like 8 more years of school and school very hard for me so this is no longer the plan. (...mostly wanted phd just so people have to call me doctor, anyway...fdjkgh u kno just. [non-gendered title that is also cool] "hey i want that"-)

ah i did not word clearly with the plant fjkgh i meant one type of plant rather than one actual single plant, was wondering if is special reason you try it on catnip in particular (like if you need catnip oil for something) or if was just to test

oh neato, thank you for response! no problem with long, i say long things too as you can see sldkjfgh

(also:

Ah™.....)

[id: screenshot which reads, "Catnip is a mild feline hallucinogen, but it is completely nontoxic to cats. It also resembles some properties of male cat urine, which may be why some cats react to the herb as though" end id.]


fallow reblogged babushka
intrepid-inkweaver -

Evey likes to scratch at and lay on any paper/notebooks/sketchpads that lay on the floor, I think because she's imitating me drawing. And then today the bit of paper I have my paint swatches on ended up on the floor and she was scratching on it. So I put out some construction paper for her to use and she loves it. She immediately went and laid on it.


fallow reblogged babushka
thellere -

Tries to learn marketing to start getting WF out there but can't look at myself in the mirror for half hour after every time I try and come up with something for it


katiebirdie -

#how do marketing departments live with themselves

fun fact! to get into any business/marketing related courses in any college you have to trade your soul for the admission fee. they live with themselves only because they cannot feel.


babushka -

english word for advertisement "ad" and russian word for hell are pretty much the same and i think i know why


fallow -

i remember few year ago dad tell me he join the dark side and i say "what" and he say "marketing"

might have been same year i walk in backyard see him film self using power tool, he pretend to cut product but actually just cut hidden board??

product not even for that, i remember going outside and being like wHAT dad why are you cutting the computerthing and hes like lmao im not tho [shows me board] and i just "=U ok then"


fallow reblogged star-rice
fallow -

fun fact of the day the california poppy reproduces by making these really long seed pods when theyre done flowering and then the seed pods explode scattering their seeds everywhere

i think theyr neat


[id: photo of four long greenish-brown plant pods set on a gray surface. Three of them are lying side by side and one of them is apart from the rest. This one has partially split open to reveal a row of round black seeds lined up inside it. One seed has fallen out and is sitting near the pod. end id.]


star-rice -

Hnnnng, this really makes me wanna grow larkspur like my mom used to when I was a kid.

We'd spread the seeds all fucking over the side yard. They'd grow up to my chest (I was tiny then) and when they'd go to seed, we'd collect the pods and pop in all open into a bowl and do it all again. I'll have to ask mom when they grow best (or, worse comes to worse, look it up).

I know I'm pining for nostalgia nowanddays, and that's not always super healthy, but it's things that are familiar enough not to be scary but I'm doing then on my own as an adult for the first time so I have all the room in the world to make mistakes and learn.


fallow -

ooh that sounds fun! larkspur is a lovely word...i don't actually know much about the plant but that sounds like a really nice memory you have

i used to plant irises with my dad but i was too young to remember it now


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